Thursday, September 3, 2009

Just Blah...

Beware: this post will most definitely be a pity party for myself. Feel free to continue on or exit out now...

Tuesday and Wednesday were really bad days for me and I'm so glad that they are over. I'm not really sure what's gotten into me but I've been in such a crabby mood. It's a little of everything, work, family drama, stupid little stuff that makes everything else seem worse....ya know. The typical.

I'm really happy with my job - it's not what I want to do, but I like it. It's flexible, my clients and boss are great and I feel lucky to have a job in these times. However, I still feel like I should pursue what it is I really want to do. I've always wanted to write for a major magazine publication or do PR for a major brand. I'm smart, I work hard and I know I could be good at whatever I decide to do.

With the way things are going - let's face it, i work for a paper and make pennies -Tuesday I decided to apply for a job that requested 1-3 years of experience in PR, which I have. The jobs was for a national fashion label to work here in Houston. The HR lady replied back and said I didn't have the right degree...Um, helloooo, I have a degree in PR, lady. Needless to say, I was pretty upset. She wanted someone with a degree in fashion. Whatev.

So, yesterday I look into school, maybe getting my MFA or perhaps doing a certificate program at one of the art schools here in Houston. This we'll have to wait on. we just bought a house and can't afford school right now. And that's fine, but I want to know my options. I did find this MFA program from an accredited online school based out of California that I think might be good.

Last night B and I got in a fight. I hate fighting. It's exhausting. And even though I was mad, I just didn't feel like fighting. I think we both just get really frustrated and it brings up all kinds of stupid stuff. He's really stressed with his job and test  and he has a really short temper and I feel like he takes that stress out on me. And I've been kinda realizing that maybe my dreams of pursing my career are stupid and not gonna happen and I get really pissy. And I don't get in a bad mood often (actually, hardly ever) but when I am in a bad mood, you better watch out! Cause I don't care who you are, you will more than like get the look of death or a few words that can cut like a knife. But, like I said, it's rare. :)

I feel like I work really hard but nothing is ever good enough. Do you ever feel like that? Sometimes I wish I could escape Houston and move somewhere else...with B and my pups of course! I feel like if I'm not in the oil & gas industry I have no place here. I would leap for joy if B came home and said, "Babe, I got a job in NY/Chicgao/LA/San Diego/Miami. Should I take it?"  HELL TO THE YEAH! I'd pretty much be packed before he could finish asking. 

And, on top of everything, my blog list disappeared again! So I had to re-list everyone and I know I'm missing people. :( 

I do promise you, this mood will fade. I hate being this depressing girl. I am happy with my life, sometimes life is just hard. This weekend we are heading to the Hill Country to spend time with B's family...Hopefully that will help lift these spirits a bit.


brooke said...

oh hun!!! i've definitely been having these days a.lot as of late...i am almost thirty and have not yet begun my!!! but then i think hey i am ALMOST thirty!! i still have TONS of time and who knows where life can take can all change in the blink of an eye...know that and know there is still plenty of life left to do whatever you want with it...don't feel limited...there are people who change their life and career paths well into their 40's!! so don't be discouraged!!

Jane said...

I think we all get this way sometimes! But it still doesn't mean it feels any better. You are still so young and have so much more time to live out your dreams!

Lindsey said...

Oh you poor thing, I'm so sorry!

Liz said...

You and me are in the same boat. I want to do real estate, but I can't take an all commission job. It causes fights with us because he knows it's what I want to do for my career, but he tells me I can't start it yet. FRUSTRATING!! I'm sure everything will work out for you and you will find your dream job :)

In this wonderful life... said...

sorry you are having a tough time pretty lady! I really think things will fall into place. I don't at all think you should give up on your dreams! Hang in there. Thinking about ya!!

LAYNE said...

this too shall pass. in fact, i bet as you are reading this you probably feel better than u did while writing this.



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Freelance Writer. Online Boutique Owner. Mommy of a boy and a girl. Always stir crazy. A schedule hater and free time lover.

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