At 25-years-old, I am experiencing my first heartbreak. I've never had my heart broken by a boy, and it's my puppy that breaks my heart now. Yesterday, I had appointments to have Chloe spayed and Jaci to have a dental cleaning. Well, Chloe went first. I had this overwhelming nervous feeling this morning to cancel and pick her up. I just felt like she was too young and too small. However, I didn't listen. I dismissed the feeling and she died during surgery. Needless to say, Jaci didn't get her teeth cleaned. I was not about to let that vet put her under anestesia too.
I have never loved anything so completely and it be taken so unexpectedly. She was the sweetest dog and she completed our little family. I know that there is nothing I can do, but I so desperately I wish I would have listened to my gut and picked her up. I spent, literally, the last 24 hours crying over her. We requested an autopsy because I feel like a healthy puppy should not have died while being spayed. It may seem silly to some of you, but my dogs are such a huge part of my life. They really are part of our family. I spend so much time with them during the day and I really tried to do everything right with her. I would get up 4 or 5 times a night to take her out when she had to potty, I fed her 3 times a day, I wiped her hairy little mouth after she ate...and that dog loved me so much. She would follow me everywhere, even to the potty. When I would take a shower, she would stand on her back two legs and peek in, like she was making sure I was really in there.
Chloe was the perfect little dog. She wasn't just the dog I wanted, she was the personality I loved. She was like the dog version of me! The thing about dogs is that their love is so unconditional. I never thought I could feel like this over an animal. I mean, my heart actually, physically hurts. Here are a few pictures of her:
This is when she tried on her first outfit, a white sweater and red bow:
Chloe & I in our Pink hoodies:
Chloe, Me & Jaci
XOXO,
