Thursday, February 11, 2010

Stuck

Just a warning: This post is whiney. Get over it, I need to whine (and wine). It's one of those days. Please don't be mean to me because I will more than likely cry and I'm at  work. That would not be appropriate. You don't even have to comment, this is more for me just to get out of my system because I don't want to cry to B about anymore.

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Do you ever feel stuck? Like you can't get where you're going? Every once in a while I have these really sad days where I feel like I've given up on everything I want and in turn, I have NO IDEA what to do now. 

B is leaving again. Headed to back to La for his job. Not sure how long he'll be gone but probably a couple of months. Minimum. I'll be here. Stuck in Hometown, Texas. At a dead-end job that I don't care so much for. Luckily, I love my boss and the girl I work with.

Sometimes I wish I could go somewhere else. Somewhere where I have more career options that extend beyond the oil and medical industry. Someplace that isn't Texas. Problem is, B loves it here. And his work is here. And he makes the money. The only thing I like about Texas? My family is here.

He keeps telling me, "I'll get a raise this year and you can quit when I get it." But I don't want to quit. I just don't want to work here.

I feel like my life is passing me by. I know that things change and where your life takes depends on the choices you make, I jut wish I could find a new path that I would enjoy. I loved my internship at the magazine but I obviously cannot work for free. Newspaper life is so not my thing. The thing is, I never thought I would get married so young or stay in Texas. I literally wanted to move out of Texas the day after I graduated high school (it kinda became a joke in my family because I've said that since I was a kid). Now that I am married, I would give up my husband for anything in the world. He such an amazing guy and is always so sweet. He knows how much I struggle with this, how much I distain my job and how I dream of moving away. I know that he loves me and I know there is no one on this planet that I could ever love more than him. Now Texas? My job? My house? I'd give it all up tomorrow as long as I could take my B and my puppies. 

Ok, that's enough whining.

8 comments:

Patience said...

I am feeling the exact same way you are right now. I am stuck at a job that I hate, in a state that is blah, but my fiance loves it here. I would pack up and move tomorrow if he would agree.

♥Aubrey said...

Hun...it's ok...i feel your pain. You are definitely allowed to express your emotions on this issue, as it is a BIG one!!! With being a military wife, my hubs is always gone. Shoot...the last 4 out of 5 years he has been gone. It's a different situation yes, but in the end...we are strong women. Each day is tough, i won't lie. Surround yourself with family & friends for support. And...you've always got us...the bloggers to lift you up when times are tough should you need us, we'll ALWAYS be here for you :)

May your day be full of smiles...wipe those tears away!!!
{{Hugs}}

Sarah said...

I'm sorry girl, I know how depressing it is when the hub is gone for months at a time. There's no law that says that you can't put your feelers out there for a job that would make you happier. I think a nice trip to Virginia Beach this summer to love on your favorite girls might be just the ticket!! Den and Bobby can take the boards out. Den is always looking for an excuse to go surfing. OR you could always quit your job and give me a new baby to love on when I come home! LOL!!! Just kidding. Only you and B will know when the time is right for that! Keep your chin up love. Miss you.

Princess Freckles said...

I feel this way all the time! Part of it, for me at least, is that my husband works in politics. Sometimes I'm a little envious of his job because it seems so much more exciting than mine! He assures me that its not, but it seems that way sometimes. I would love to be able to work part time and spend more time as a wife and taking care of our home. It just feels like when I finally get home from work, after hitting the gym, I make dinner, clean the house, and its time for bed again! Weekends are often spent cleaning, running errands and then its over. I would like to move somewhere warmer, but with his career, its doubtful we'll be relocating. If we ever did move, it would probably be DC which would be so exciting, but its also so expensive. Right now we live in a wonderful town, where I grew up. Its expensive for Michigan, but not DC expensive. We will see....

Thank you for sharing though, because it feels good to me to know that I'm not alone when I feel like this. Its almost like I don't want to seem ungrateful because we have a beautiful life, but I'm sure you understand what I mean!

BakerGirl said...

I feel exactly the same way right now. I've lived in Louisiana my whole life and never thought I'd still be here. Now, the fiancee and I are hoping to move for his residency but there is good chance we will end up staying here. I can't even comprehend three more years here. I have no idea what I would do.

Crazy Shenanigans said...

I have similar feelings. I'm totally ready to change it up. Life is too short and I think we all get to a point where we have to decide how much we want things to change. Hang in there. I hope you get everything you want!

Casey (@ Ever-Changing Life) said...

Make B join the Air Force and come with us! ;)

I think I get this same way when Jordan is gone, especially if it is winter time. Sometimes you just feel kind of blah. I'll be praying for a job opportunity to open for you, something that will be more your pace and style than the current one. Nothing worse than not liking something you have to do every day!

I think you need a break. How about a trip to Germany?

Nishant said...

..i feel your pain. You are definitely allowed to express your emotions on this issue

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