Just a warning: This post is whiney. Get over it, I need to whine (and wine). It's one of those days. Please don't be mean to me because I will more than likely cry and I'm at work. That would not be appropriate. You don't even have to comment, this is more for me just to get out of my system because I don't want to cry to B about anymore.
Do you ever feel stuck? Like you can't get where you're going? Every once in a while I have these really sad days where I feel like I've given up on everything I want and in turn, I have NO IDEA what to do now.
B is leaving again. Headed to back to La for his job. Not sure how long he'll be gone but probably a couple of months. Minimum. I'll be here. Stuck in Hometown, Texas. At a dead-end job that I don't care so much for. Luckily, I love my boss and the girl I work with.
Sometimes I wish I could go somewhere else. Somewhere where I have more career options that extend beyond the oil and medical industry. Someplace that isn't Texas. Problem is, B loves it here. And his work is here. And he makes the money. The only thing I like about Texas? My family is here.
He keeps telling me, "I'll get a raise this year and you can quit when I get it." But I don't want to quit. I just don't want to work here.
I feel like my life is passing me by. I know that things change and where your life takes depends on the choices you make, I jut wish I could find a new path that I would enjoy. I loved my internship at the magazine but I obviously cannot work for free. Newspaper life is so not my thing. The thing is, I never thought I would get married so young or stay in Texas. I literally wanted to move out of Texas the day after I graduated high school (it kinda became a joke in my family because I've said that since I was a kid). Now that I am married, I would give up my husband for anything in the world. He such an amazing guy and is always so sweet. He knows how much I struggle with this, how much I distain my job and how I dream of moving away. I know that he loves me and I know there is no one on this planet that I could ever love more than him. Now Texas? My job? My house? I'd give it all up tomorrow as long as I could take my B and my puppies.
Ok, that's enough whining.