Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Completely Heartbroken

At 25-years-old, I am experiencing my first heartbreak. I've never had my heart broken by a boy, and it's my puppy that breaks my heart now. Yesterday, I had appointments to have Chloe spayed and Jaci to have a dental cleaning. Well, Chloe went first. I had this overwhelming nervous feeling this morning to cancel and pick her up. I just felt like she was too young and too small. However, I didn't listen. I dismissed the feeling and she died during surgery. Needless to say, Jaci didn't get her teeth cleaned. I was not about to let that vet put her under anestesia too.

I have never loved anything so completely and it be taken so unexpectedly. She was the sweetest dog and she completed our little family. I  know that there is nothing I can do, but I so desperately I wish I would have listened to my gut and picked her up. I spent, literally, the last 24 hours crying over her. We requested an autopsy because I feel like a healthy puppy should not have died while being spayed. It may seem silly to some of you, but my dogs are such a huge part of my life. They really are part of our family. I spend so  much time with them during the day and I really tried to do everything right with her. I would get up 4 or 5 times a night to take her out when she had to potty, I fed her 3 times a day, I wiped her hairy little mouth after she ate...and that dog loved me so much. She would follow me everywhere, even to the potty. When I would take a shower, she would stand on her back two legs and peek in, like she was making sure I was really in there.

Chloe was the perfect little dog. She wasn't just the dog I wanted, she was the personality I loved. She was like the dog version of me! The thing about dogs is that their love is so unconditional. I never thought I could feel like this over an animal. I mean, my heart actually, physically hurts. Here are a few pictures of her:

This is when she tried on her first outfit, a white sweater and red bow:
Chloe & I in our Pink hoodies:
Chloe, Me & Jaci
CLICK HERE to see Chloe's first "photo shoot".



Melissa said...

Stevy, I'm so sorry! She looked so precious, I wish I could have met her!

d.a.r. said...

Oh my gosh I am so sorry. How horrible!!! I am praying for you, what a sad loss :(

Princess Freckles said...

Oh no, I'm so so sorry. I know you're probably feeling awful, and I can completely understand. She was such a cutie. I hope that the autopsy brings some closure to this for you. Hang in there.

Honey said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish there was more to say, but I'll say a prayer for you.

Brown Eyed Girl said...

I am so sorry. That would be so! I hope you are doing OK and let us know how everything turns out.

Serena said...

Oh Stevy, I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't think you are being silly about getting an autopsy. Pets are family.

Mrs. Nurse said...

I am sorry for your loss :(

Your Husband said...

Babe I'm so sorry this happened. I know a piece of our little family is gone, but this too shall pass.

I Love You Very Much,

Ashley said...

This is awful! Surely they would not have operated on her if she were too young right? Our vet recommends 6 months before she spays or neuters dogs. Losing a pet - a member of the family - is very hard. She sounds just like my little Rafa (he is a shorkie: yorkie - shih tzu). I can't / don't want to imagine the pain of losing him. You are in our thoughts.

Anonymous said...

Stevy, I am deeply sorry about the loss of your precious dog, I can imagine how hard it is for you & Bobby.

Anonymous said...

Oh Stevy, I'm so sorry. I love Shih Tzus. I had a puppy for 4 days and she wouldn't eat, was very lethargic. I knew something was wrong, but everyone insisted she was just settling. Eventually with blood in her stool I rushed her to the vet. She had Parvo and had to be put to sleep. It was awful.

We bought her from a puppy farm. I was a little creeped out by it. And looking back, we're pretty sure the breeder knew she was sick.

About a month later, I bought another Shih Tzu from a family that just happened to have puppies (non-breeders). She is great and will be 4 in June!

While the first baby will never be replaced, the second one certainly helped with the heartache!

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry you lost your pup, I know how heartbreaking it is to lose a beloved pet. I was a vet tech in my youth and trust me, unfortunately there is not always a visible reason a dog dies on the table through no fault of anyone. Sometimes, they just can't tolerate the anestheic which couldn't have been forseen. I know this probably won't help you feel better but I wanted you to know sometimes it just happens, fortunately, not very often but it does.

All I can suggest is getting another dog as soon as you can, not to replace the one you just lost, but to fill that gaping hole in your heart she left behind. Accept the new pup for his or herself and try not to compare with the one you lost.

They do pediatric spays and neuters now too, so it can be done before you take your dog home from the breeder. Make sure you buy from a reputable breeder and never from a pet store (they are usually puppy mill dogs).

I hope I was some help. God bless,Joy

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