I'm not pregnant.

I was hesitant to post this but it's what's on my heart and mind today, so here it goes...

I'm not pregnant. I know, a lot of people aren't and it's a strange thing to say. But I'm not pregnant. This weighs on my heart like a ton of bricks and it makes me sad. Daily.

Getting pregnant with Lainey was really easy. I had an easy pregnancy, for the most part. My delivery was tough but it was successful. After almost 51 hours of labor, I had a happy, healthy baby and I survived. What more could you ask for?

I took that all for granted.

I assumed having another would be easy. We've only been trying since July, going on month #5, but I am not where I thought I would be. I thought that I would be announcing on Facebook, planning for my anatomy scan and excited to make Lainey a big sister.

I found out I was pregnant at the end of July. It happened so quickly but in the blink of an eye, I was rushed into emergency surgery and my baby was gone. (read about that here)

My heart aches for the baby I lost and it longs to have another baby to love. Not to replace it, just...I don't really know how to explain it.

I know so many people who have had difficulties, honestly, before having Lainey, I had a feeling I would be one. After having her, I knew getting pregnant and having a baby would be easy.

Why would I ever think that?

Who ever would assume getting pregnant is easy?

You never know how the words "when are you having more?" can sting. You never think about that kind of thing until you or a friend goes through it. I had a friend who had a struggle finally getting pregnant with her sweet boy and it wasn't until her that I thought to keep my "When are you having babies?" to myself. But to constantly hear "it's time for another" and "When are you going to make Lainey a big sister?" sucks.

Lainey is incredible. She is absolutely the best thing to ever happen to me, the best thing in my life. Thinking about how much I adore her completely overjoys me. I don't discount her or feel that she isn't enough.

She is enough.

But it doesn't change the fact that I want more, or that I will never meet the one I lost.

It's still hard.

Pinsday, Giveaway Winner and a SWEET deal!

Ok, ok. I get it. I'm a little out of control with the ridiculous Pinterest-related post titles but I just can't help it. If you read this post, I finally tried it!

Garlic Shrimp Bake from Pinterest.

Ingredients:

1 lb. raw shrimp, deveined and peeled (I pull the tails off beforehand too)

4 cloves garlic, minced

2 Tbsp. white wine (I used Pino Grigio, I feel like it's a great cooking wine with shirmp, and I chose Cul-de-Sac because it was on sale for $2.60!)

salt and pepper (I never use salt and pepper. I use Paula Deen's House Seasoning found HERE)

1/4 cup (4 Tbsp.) melted butter

1/2 cup Panko bread crumbs (I was out so I substitured regular Italian bread crumbs)

2 Tbsp. fresh Italian-leaf parsley, chopped

half of a lemon (optional)

Directions:

Preheat oven to 425 degrees F.

In a bowl, combine the shrimp, garlic, and white wine. Stir to combine, then pour into a baking dish. Spread out evenly, and then season with salt and pepper.

In another bowl, use a fork to mix melted butter, Panko, and parsley until well combined. With your fingers, sprinkle the mixture evenly in the baking dish over the shrimp.

Transfer dish to oven and bake until the shrimp are pink and opaque, about 15-18 minutes.

My supa cheap wine

 For the pasta

I boiled regular spaghetti noodles and seasoned with a bit of olive oil, a squeeze of lemon, a pinch of parsley, a pinch of bread crumbs and some more of PD's House Seasoning. Here is a similar Pinterest Recipe.

For dessert...I made this. I'm not really sure what it's called. I've been making it since I was in high school. I will share the recipe later if y'all need it.

Congrats to Bethany Holte! Please email me your mailing address and I will get those super cute legwarmes out to you!

Sad you didn't win? Visit me at facebook.com/hudsonlaneboutique to order a pair! The legwarmers sell for $10 plus shipping a pair but I am offering a special deal to my bloggy friends!

Like my Facebook page, comment on the photo of the leg warmers with your Paypal address and letting me know you came from my blog and I will give them to you for $8 plus shipping.

Delicious Treats!

First, let me begin this post by apologizing. I found this recipe on Pinterst, the blogger warned that it's addicting, yet I paid no mind.

I tried it, as will you; I became addicted, as will you.

Homemade Doughnuts!

Source

Pin

These were incredibly delicious!

Here is what you need:

canned biscuits (anything BUT the flakey layer kind)

Melted butter in a shallow bowl(4 tbls per 8 biscuits give or take

Sugar & Cinnamon in a shallow bowl (Mixed together in your favorite proportions but adding too much sugar will make for a messy, messy doughnut)

Veggie oil to fill your pan up to about 1/2in or so.  

Here is what to do:

Heat up oil for a few minutes on medium heat
While it is heating up, cut holes in the donuts with a cookie cutter or some other circular object -- I found it easier just to cut circles with a knife. It was quick and easy and I got the right size.

When one side is golden brown, flip with tongs. When that side is golden remove from oil and place on a paper towel lined pan or plate.

When the donuts have cooled enough to handle...using your fingers dip one side in the melted butter, let the excess drip off, dip in cinnamon and sugar mixture.  Get it nice and coated. Flip over and repeat for the other side.

You can see here, the ones that are oddly shapped, I used a cutter, the perfect donut looking ones, I cut the center out with a knife.

I even made doughnut holes!

And Lainey got to enjoy some as well!

Enjoy, friends!

Don't forget to enter, you only have a few hours left! Winner will be announced tomorrow.